Tuesday, November 30, 2004
+ I am happY agaIn.... I aM mE agAin... +
beforE I saY moRe I muZ thaNx All whO reAd my entrY.... =)
ThanX for uR encouraGemenT anD conCerN... =)
wiTh thaT frOm aLL my FreNz..... I've becOmE haPpY quickEr.... hee...
todaY haF beeN a breeZe.....
EverYthiNg weNt aS I waNt it tO... =)
I'll be singing again...
I'll be dancing again...
all after i recover from this irritating cough and block nose...
I juz pray i'll recover soon.... really need my voice back!!
Ate aloT todaY!!!!
WenT bufFeT... sinful... hee.... yummilY sinfuL!! =P
Saw a beauTifuL houSe madE of CookiEs and cream n some pastries... real hansel n gretal... hee... think i got teh spelling wrong... but as long as u and I know wat I am toking abt... hee.... really really nice....
a small cute cookie house with doves hovering over it and a SanTa sittiNg on ThE rooF....
BeinG a lightBulB is quiTe FuN too... thO noT brigHt enouGh coZ the coUplE is not reaLLy a couPle... hee... but it's enough for me to feel like a bulb... haha....
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Vitamint_D @ 11:49 PM
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Monday, November 29, 2004
+ AAAAAAAcccccchhhhhOOOOO!!!!!!! +
SicK again... down with flu again...
This time it's so bAd... Sore throat so sore I dun feel like toking...
Luckily the cough is going off...
SO unlucKy toDaY....
woke up late.
miss the bus.
Mum cook fRied Prawns.
CellS diEd.
FreNz @ worK all noT arD.
SuPerviSor noT arD.
BluR contAct leNS.
BodY, stomach, HeaD all Ache.
Vitamint_D @ 2:58 PM
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Wednesday, November 24, 2004
+ I can't stand iT!!! +
I can't stanD it!
I am going maD with frustration.. and one way to vent my frustrations is through here... through words....
Y is the world so complicated??
Y are there always so many choices and so much decisions to make...
Y are all the decisions always so crucial??
N Y do they always come at the same time??? One week after the next????
I know my head is big but my mind is small and the capacity for stress is even smaller...
Still glad that through all ordeals I get to see who are my true friends....
who are those truly concerned for me... who are those who are just making use of me... who befriend me purely because they think I make a good friend and not with some uterior motive...
For the past months(since july),
I've been living much like a machine, programmed with a direct aim and the standard procedure of achieving the aim....
step 1: blah blah blah
step 2: blah blah blah blah...
etc...
emotions exist only in me and not shown and not felt....at all... i mean it...
stored.. somewhere deep inside... accumulating.....
n all of a sudden all emerged.... forcing their way out of me... with a strength so great I cannot withstand... (for more details on how this feels, look under
http://www.tulane.edu/~sanelson/geol204/volcan&magma.htm
I belong to the explosive eruption)
and at the end all escaped.... naught's left..... void of emotions again....
can the machine still work...?? hope it can...
but this time, void of emotions even deep inside....
the machine shall work forever... for the goal programmed....
without fear of eruption anytime soon.... for it takes time to accumulate....
hopefully this time, rate of accumulation is slow...
Vitamint_D @ 2:41 PM
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+ LIARS GET ouT!!!!!!!!!! +
I hate liars...
whether a lie is white or black or red or blue or yellow... it's a lie...
I just dun get why ppl lie... esp when it seems like it's for no apparent purpose nor reasons...
Selfish people lie
Timid people lie
Ugly people lie
The maSk oF thE liaR is the ugLiest
And the MAn beHinD thE maSk iS the CowarD who doeS noT dARe fACe reAlitY
With baD self EsteeM and a ReAlitY thAt is uGly becausE hE maDe it sO by hidIng iT and TarnishinG it witH lieS.....
PiTy to ThE maN behinD the mAsK....
Is a PreTtY liE moRe poWeRfuL thaN a leSS perFecT TRUTH????
A truTh is THE TRUTH and definately will be more appreciated...
A lie is A LIE and definately will be condemned....
pity to him behind he mask....
not only blades can scar.....
pity also to the one who believe the man in mask...... stupid is the world for him.. for both...
Vitamint_D @ 1:09 PM
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Tuesday, November 23, 2004
+ TwiSted +
HarD as I've tried to leave the old me behind
Yet hard as it tries now to bring myself back...
The old emotional me...
A twist in a movie is wonderful...
A twist in my life is juz twisted... =P
Crazy things I always dare not do but alot I've done these days....
MAybe it's the middle month crisis...
so many crazy decisions I've made and I know the craziest is yet to come...
Crazy decisions I may haf made but regrets are only words you can see on this blog... not to be found anywhere near me, in my mind or my heart....
Forgotten abt the past??
Yes I haf put it behind... but i realise that with my memories that i left behind are my emotions and feelings....
all are left in the unknown world... to make sure i will not be sad... i sacrifice happiness....
To dig it all out i may find sadness but hopefully the happiness comes back as well... in a manner louder n more beautiful than before....
My trust in no one (esp myself) makes me mechanical... feels like Terminator 2004 =P
Filled with logics n reasonings... just like a scientist....
life WAS peaCefUL w/o sadneSS..... or happiness....
Vitamint_D @ 3:45 PM
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Tuesday, November 09, 2004
+ LifE is FAiR..... It'D bEttEr B.... +
My CellS arE growing!!!!!!!!! YiPpEeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! =)
Hope this continues... =)
My life is really so boring... fancy getting happy over such small matters....
I really should aim higher and not just be contented that simple cells are multiplying or that I manage to keep myself occupied all the time I am awake... Or that I manage to reach home early or take pleasure in knocking off early... or be happy that my hands and legs can coordinate.... or that I do not haf backache today after exercising yesterday... or that I read another 70 pages of HarrY PorTer today.....
I really should oso make my sadness n depression more worthwhile and not be sad just becoz I can't do simple situps, or can't do a yoga move... or can't seem to be happy whenever I past coffee bean @ suntec city.... or for the fact that I am walking ard there alone most of the time.... or that my cells grew too fast... or that I haf so much to do yet still feel so empty..... I really shldn't be sad over such small matters.......
Come to think of it... my life is actually not that monotonous... I really should be glad.... there are things that I can do and things that I can't.... small n insignificant (compared to this huge world) they maybe ..... still I haf my fair share of problem and achievement...
Everything shld start small... now that I make small achievements on a personal level... who knows.... one day i'd do something that can be more significant... like how my cells grow... my person, ambitions, character shld grow like 'em.....
Vitamint_D @ 1:31 AM
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Saturday, November 06, 2004
+ I loVe ThE RythUm, thE beAt, thE movEs.... +
Juz Came back from saLSa FiesTa... really fun... dancing with guys who know how is really a different and wonderful experience...
I went into the dance room (that is less crowded than usual) standing at the beginner's corner, hoping someone will ask me for a dance.... @ the same time watching how the advance dancers shook their bodies and how the guys beautifully lead the gals into spinnings n turnings n sashaying.....
Then I start to dance... it's really nice to be dancing out of lesson time... it's really oso nice of my instructor to dance with me.... hee... think he believes that I am bad.. haha so hope to improve my steps..=P He is the best dance teacher I haf seen so far..
Really dun wan the session to stop... now, I haf to wait for another week.... huh.... so long.....
Vitamint_D @ 2:14 AM
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Wednesday, November 03, 2004
+ Another NeW MonTh!!!!! HoW's HallOweEn???? +
Hmm... halloween was quite for me...
Now, my life is pretty much my own life... no commitment or watsoever... hmmm... but i dun like tt.. feel quite aimless n not challenging enough for me....
Maybe I shld start to find somemore goal to attain...
I've decided to make making money and spending it my new goal.... Hence I shall start by having another tuition job.... hee... hope this works...
come to think of it... I've been so bored tt I change my hairstyle twice in 2 weeks!!!!!!!
Hear my walleT???----------> "OuCh!!!!"
See my new hair style.....
I know it looks like the original one... well all are perm... but it's slightly different....
Oh no I feel so so so redundant...
I feel that my life now is to look for things to achieve.....
Y doesn't anyone haf any expectations of me???????
My dog juz vomitted something tt look real gross.... it was dark at where she puked(as the light's spoilt) and i can't see wat it is... well I could haf taken it to somewhere with light to examine it... but..... erm.... think sometimes avoiding the reality is good...
I really dun think i'd wan to know wat came out of her... =
Just went to the gym... din do much weights or cardio... juz attended 3 classes... one of which is yoga.... wow wow wow.... it's amazing wat they can do!! (not to mention how embarassing wat I can't do) Then I was @ this super fun Jazz dance class that I totally cannot catch up... haha... but really, tt's where the fun is... trying to catch it...
I'll be going out every day for this week... but Y am I still so unhappy????
My schedule is packed... packed with things that I arrange for myself.... but Y is it that I feel so bored?? haiz... SOMETHING IS MISSING!!!!!! I'll go find out wat............
(Wat is missing actually Mindy kNoWs..... juZ whEthEr shE waNs to BrinG the pRobLeM to LighT n sEe the tRutH n soLvE the probLeM.....)
Oh nO!!!!!!!!! Me So whiNny todaY!!!! WHining to mYseLf.... I aM the MosT pathEtic peRsoN aliVe in mY houSe!!!!!!! =P
"I sang 'You Make me Want to Fall in Love' yet when I am singing I was singing to nobody. When can I sing that to someone???"
~GueSs WhO???
Vitamint_D @ 1:23 AM
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